The Toronto Maple Leaf Jumbo Jet soars high in the air. The team is more than half way through the eight minute flight from Toronto to Buffalo. Brendan Shanahan and Kyle Dubas sit listening to Lou Lamoriello. The GM is pacing back and forth, ranting about his cleaning service. The cause of his distress is the disposal of some precious old newspapers that were taken out with the trash.

“It’s like they never even looked at the dates or nothin! Why the hell would I keep newspapers from the eighties just so I could throw them away thirty years later? Morons. I am gonna fire them all. I am gonna fire them then hire them back so I can fire them again.” Lou shows no signs of winding down.

“Can we get back to work Lou?” Brendan asks.

“Work sure, yeah, no problem. I will just forget about my life’s passion getting tossed away like an ugly baby.” Lou almost gets rolling on another rant but Brendan cuts him off.

“What’s the update on Bozak?”

Lou sighs and sits down. “He’s still day to day. The problem is that he got all his pubes laser removed. Now his cup chafes his bare ball sack unmercifully. The trainers want him to use coconut oil on them but he doesn’t like the smell. They’re trying different ointments and lotions and hopefully they will have something worked out for tomorrow.”

“Do we call someone up?” Brendan asks after a moment of consideration.

“Please no.” Kyle chimes in before Lou can answer, earning him a death glare from the GM. “Don’t mess with the Marlies just yet. The team is off to a decent start, they are really beginning to gel as a group. I know we will have to do it eventually, but let’s not mess with the chemistry just yet. Not if we don’t need to.”

“No one cares about your stupid AHL chemistry.” Lou says. “Their only job is to wait for me to need them in the real show. If I want to mess with your fuckin’ chemistry then that’s what I’m gonna do. Ass!”

“So, no call-ups then.” Brendan says, ending the discussion. Lou expresses his disappointment with a loud fart. “Any news about Robidas?”

It is Kyle who answers. “No one has seen him since Thanksgiving. Our people tracked him to Quebec City, but they lost his trail in a small underground hippie commune.”

“And still no clues as to why he left?” Brendan asks.

“Nothing new. All anyone remembers him saying is “I found her! She’s here! She’s here!” We searched his apartment and found lots of books about aliens, sasquatch and the Loch Ness monster, but how it all fits together is still a mystery.”

“We have to find him.” Brendan says. “Even if he can’t keep up on the ice anymore, he is a great example of perseverance. He is as solid a pro as you are ever going to find, but he can only be a role model if he is on the team.”

“Screw him.” Lou says. “You want a role model of perseverance, how about Mike Richards. I got his agent to agree in principal to a four year deal for only three million a season. I just gotta figure out how to use my scan-o-faxamatic machine so I can send the papers to him.”

“No” Brendan says.

“Come on Brendan. Please let me sign him. We need some more veterans. We need proven winners. Give him a chance. It’s like in that Rob Marley song.”

“Bob Marley?” Kyle asks. “Redemption Song?”

“I am pretty sure it’s Rob, ass. And the song I was thinking of was Buffalo Soldier.” Lou starts to sing “Buffalo soldier, with a heart that’s American, Oy oy oy! Oy oy oy oy! Oy oy oy oy oy oy oy oy!”

“But Richards is white.” Kyle points out.

“So you’re a racist now Kyle? I am so ashamed of you.”

Before the two can get stuck in a musical debate Brendan interrupts. “You can sign him for the rest of this season at the league minimum, nothing more” Before Lou can object he changes the subject. “How is Mark doing?” Mark Hunter, the head scout for the Toronto Maple Leafs, has been away scouring the planet for hidden talent for over two weeks now and Brendan has missed his quiet optimism and endless sense of humour.

Kyle checks his email before answering. “He is in Chile. There is a goaltending Llama he wants to check out.”

“How the fuck are we gonna keep a Llama clean shaven?” Lou asks.

“Lets find out if he can play first Lou, then worry about enforcing team rules.” Brendan says. Lou looks gut punched but Brendan’s phone starts to ring before He can answer. Brendan puts the call on speaker. “Hello.”

“Hello Brendan, it’s Dean” Dean Lombardi is the GM of the LA Kings. “Is Lou around?”

“He’s here.” Passing the phone over to Lou, Brendan says, “You really need a cell phone Lou.”

“I don’t trust anything I can’t drop into the toilet. What do you want Deano?”

“I’m calling to hook you up Lou. I know you need some veteran talent up front. I need a shake up in my locker room. I am willing to part with Gaborik and all I will need back is Gardiner and a pick.”

Brendan and Kyle are both shaking their heads. Lou winks at them. “Okay Deano, I like it, but how about instead of Gaborik you give us Carter and instead of Gardiner and a pick I will give you Robidas and Polak”

“Come on Lou, be reasonable.” Dean fails to hide his desperation. “Gaborik for Gardiner staight up, no pick. Come on Lou.”

“Fine, I’ll take Gaborik, but only if you throw in Toffoli as well. And you can have Polak and Percy.”

“What! That’s not fair Lou.”

“You got a free buyout you bastard, you want to talk about fair?”

“It’s not fair.” The rival GM sounds lost and Lou struggles to keep the glee from his voice.

“It’s about as fair as firing a guy who needs your help then taking out a full page add in the paper about how you wanted to help him but you couldn’t because he let you down.” Dean sighs and the weight of the world is carried in the sound. “Think it over dick cheese. Go fuck yourself and have a nice day.” Lou slams down Brendans phone on his arm rest, cracking the screen. “Oops, how do I hang up on this thing?”

As Brendan takes his phone back, Mike Babcock comes up to the group. The coach is wearing a parachute and jump goggles.

“Hey guys, I’m gonna drop into Buffalo to get a head start on preparations. I just want to say it one time with you all before I go.”

The coach bows his head and the three other men do the same. After a moment of silence they speak in unison as if the words were a spell, and maybe words do hold the power to create.

“Dear God and Lord Stanley thank you for bringing us together here in Toronto. And please help Steven Stamkos find his way home.”

Mike turns to the exit. “See you on the ground!” He shouts as he lifts the handle, opening the door. Mike leaps out into the blue as Kyle, and Lou hold on for dear life. Brendan slowly approaches the open door, fighting against the powerful force seeking to suck him out of the plane. The president summons all his strength as he reaches out to grab the door and, with an effort of will greater than any he has ever known, he slams the door shut.

“Please let me fire him.” Lou says, catching his breath.