September 19 2017 – Mundane Bad-Ass

Toronto Maple Leaf Zach Hyman forces himself not to swear as he sees five more zombies shuffling into the alley. Zach has been slaying the undead all night but they just keep coming. The zombies are part of Dracula’s army. (Read more about that here or here.) Since the Leafs are the only organization in the world with the power to stop the ancient evil being unleashed Zach is eager to do his part. However, Unlike many of his teammates, Zach does not have any super powers.

This fact does not limit Zach in any way. He may not be a superhero, but he is a total bad-ass. Zach just needs to work a little harder than some of the other guys. He can’t slide into the shadows like Kadri so he ducks and weaves around his enemies. He can’t whip around as fast as a tornado like JVR so he puts every ounce of force he can into every swing of his battleaxe. The fact that things don’t come easy for Zach makes him even more proud to be a member of the Toronto Maple Leafs. But it has been a very long night, first a game of hockey and then jetting back to Toronto zombies fighting. Zach is running out of stamina.

Zach tightens his grip as the five new zombies get closer, suddenly their heads explode one at a time.

“What the hell kid, use a gun.” Ron Hainsey is one of the newest Maple Leafs. He also has no super powers, but unlike Zach Ron wears his mundane status like a badge of honour.

“I ran out of bullets over an hour ago.” Zach tries to match Ron’s bravado.

“You’ve been hacking at these things for an hour?” Ron is impressed.

“Over an hour.” Zach corrects.

“Well I still think this is stupid.” Ron says, making the same complaint he’s been making all night. “There has to be a source somewhere, zombies don’t just appear. We are wasting our time and effort cleaning the streets, we ought to find the source.”

“Coach says…” Zach can’t even make his point before Ron interupts.

“Coach says, coach says, I know what coach says.” Ron is obviously cranky. “I just don’t care. These things are never going to stop until somebody finds where they are coming from, and they are not coming from that castle, it’s somewhere else.”

“How can you be sure?” Zach asks more to placate his teammate than anything else.

“Call it a hunch.” Ron says, then elaborates when he sees Zach’s expression. “Castlevania is due North of the city right, well these guys are popping up all over the place which means the are not just pouring out of the castle gate. I’m telling you, there’s more to these zombies attacks than there seems.”

“So what do we do?” Zach asks.

“Trust me.” Ron smiles and Zach feels afraid for the first time all night.

The Leafs sneak through the shadows avoiding the roving packs of zombies that wander aimlessly through the deserted Toronto streets. Soon Zach notices a definite pattern to the zombies movements, the are radiating out from a single central source and Zach knows that he and Ron are close to it.

Rounding a corner the Leafs are bathed in the warm glow of a trans-dimensional portal. A small pack of zombies walks out of it shuffling right past Zach and Ron. After about thirty seconds another group of zombies follows.

“Told you.” Ron says.

“We gotta tell the guys.” Zach says.

“We could.” Ron says before he sprints into the magical light.

This time Zach swears as he chases his teammate. Pain tears Zach into a million tiny pieces and then slams him back together again in less time than it takes for a heart to beat. He and Ron are standing in a volcanic wasteland, a hellscape of terror and flame. The portal they came out of is one of six that is being used to transport millions of zombies to Toronto. The zombies are being corralled through the portals by whip-like tendrils of energy emanating from a massive crystal that floats above the nightmare plain. The crystal glows with the same light as the portals.

“Told you.” Ron smiles before opening fire on the zombies.

As one the army of flesh eaters turns toward the Leafs. Even if they both killed thousands there would be millions more to take their place. Ron doesn’t seem bothered by this math, but Zach most definitely is. There is no time to complain though as the horde is soon upon them. There is no time for anything but the next swing. Calling on reserves Zach never knew he had, the young Leaf works harder than ever in his life. He knows it will not be enough but he doesn’t stop. Nearby he can hear Ron laughing between the gunshots. With a detached amusement Zach wonders what the American Leaf will do when he finally runs out of ammunition.

There is an explosion somewhere nearby and all of a sudden there are no zombies in ax range. Zach looks up and sees a squad of Toronto Maple Leafs standing at the portal, guns blazing. Ron runs over to Zach and pulls him toward the rest of the Leafs.

“Looks like we don’t get to die tonight.” Ron is still smiling.

“You’re crazy.” Zach is too stunned to say more.

“Me?” Ron barks a laugh. “You’re the one who ran into those things with nothing but an ax. You’re a total psycho, man! I love it, Go Leafs!” This last he shouts over his shoulder as he drags Zach back to a more familiar reality.

“Wait!” Zach pulls away from Ron. “They have to blow up the crystal, you were right, that’s the source.”

Without a second thought Zach leaps back through the portal. Only a few Leafs are still on the other side, the retreat is almost finished. Morgan Rielly notices Zach first.

“What are you doing?” Morgan demands. “Just stay rescued.”

“We need to destroy that crystal.” Zach has to shout over the steady gunfire. “It’s the only way to close the portals.”

Morgan understands what needs to happen without any further explanation, he also understands that once the crystal is destroyed there will be no way back to Toronto.

“Leafs!” Morgan speaks into his team communicator. “New plan, everybody back, I’ll be right behind you.”

Zach tries to protest but Morgan shoves him through the portal, tired as he is Zach falls back and lands on the cold Toronto street. A dozen Leafs and prospects stand around the portal watching for Morgan. Silence grips them all as they wait. The harsh reality of what it means to be a Toronto Maple Leaf weighs on all their minds. Almost a full minute passes. Suddenly the edges of the portal begin to flicker. Morgan dives through at the last second before it winks out of existence. A zombie arm clings to his pants, sheared off at the elbow.

“You did it Ron.” Morgan is panting a bit but seems otherwise unharmed. “You’re intel was right on the money.”

“Don’t look at me.” Ron says. “I just found the way in. Zach did all the work.”

Zach shakes his head, too tired to argue. As his teammates slap him on the back he wonders again at his good fortune. It may be hard, but being a Maple Leaf is the greatest job ever.

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