When humanity is threatened only the super powered might of the Toronto Maple Leafs can be counted on to save the day. The Leafs have undergone a major overhaul this year. Of all the changes, none has been more impactful than the addition of a squadron based tactical deployment that head coach Mike Babcock and GM Kyle Dubas designed to keep the peace on the mean Toronto streets. Today we follow Horse squadron: wingers.

Zach Hyman doesn’t feel like a super hero, but he acts like one. In fact his squad mates regard him as one of the bravest of all the Toronto Maple Leafs. Because unique amongst all of Horse squad, Zach does not have super powers. Instead he is forced to defend himself against the alien robots attacking Yorkedale Mall with nothing more than his wits and his battle axe. Wits being the sharper of the two. Given his mundane humanity the Leaf is doing very well. This latest robot has lost one arm and has several large gashes in its hollow torso.

“Any time now guys.” Zach says into his communicator.

“Yiipppeeeee!!!!” Mitch Marners swarm the robot from all sides and begin pummeling it with their bare hands. Mitch’s ability to duplicate himself makes the robots devastating counter attacks redundant. For every Mitch killed, two more replace him. Soon the robot is overwhelmed and Zach easily deactivates the murderous CPU housed in its head by smashing it to pieces. The Mitches stand up and revert to a smiling singularity.

“That was fun.” Mitch says. “Come on, we gotta get to the roof.”

The fact that he just experienced over a dozen deaths doesn’t seem to phase the Leaf. As always Zach is in awe of his team mate. They reach the roof and see Patrick Marleau brutalizing another alien robot. He is in full werewolf mode so the combat is not very fair, which the shattered remnants of several other robots makes plain.

In the sky The alien mothership sits, larger than the city. It is billowing smoke from several small puncture wounds. These were obviously caused by Wily Nylander who flies his Toronto Maple Leaf rocket horse against what remains of the alien armada. He hasn’t joined his team on the ice, but they couldn’t keep him from the real action. Laughing he swoops through the enemy, who cannot seem to locate the Leaf and so their return fire is more of a threat to themselves than to Wily. Having the power to mesmerize his enemies makes Wily a hard target, being a Scandanavian godling makes him unstoppable.

Suddenly the voice of Mike Babcock, rings through the Toronto Maple Leafs communications array.

“Horse squad, good job.” Mike says. “Now pull back, we’re going to take out the mothership.”

Patrick reverts to man shape and joins Zach and Mitch. Wily lands his horse on the roof beside them. Zach lets out a shrill whistle and three more rocket horses gallop swiftly from across the horizon. The Leafs are soon rocketing away from the shadow of the mall sized spacecraft in the sky.

“Cover your eye’s boys.” Mike says. “Here comes Wick!”

Hayley Wickeheiser flies fast, but throws the squad a little wave as she passes. She slams into the mothership with a single punch. The force of the blow causes the ships gravitational distortion engine to rupture and the resulting implosion turns the monstrous ship into a tiny dust mote.

Horse squad approach Haley, cheering as she lands softly back on the ground. She doesn’t care to notice their jubilation as she sadly walks back to Toronto Maple Leaf tower.

“What’s the matter sensei?” Zach asks.

“I never get to punch things twice.” Haley responds with a sad smile.