When humanity is threatened only the super powered might of the Toronto Maple Leafs can be counted on to save the day. The Leafs have undergone a major overhaul this year. Of all the changes, none has been more impactful than the addition of a squadron based tactical deployment that head coach Mike Babcock and GM Kyle Dubas designed to keep the peace on the mean Toronto streets. Today we follow Ether squad: the goalies.

The room seems to waver around Garret Sparks, back up mage for the Toronto Maple Leafs. Choosing to allow the magical teleportation, Garret instead readies both offensive and defensive spells and steps closer to the wall. Phil Kessel of the Pittsburgh Penguins materializes in the center of the room grinning.

Phil Kessel is an abomination. Magic is a powerful and a dangerous force. The study and the use of magic has been the sole focus of hockey goalies for hundreds of years. Throughout all of hockey history only one skater has ever dared to openly practice magic, Phil Kessel. Phil has mastered a grotesque magical art, endearing for all it’s pure evil.

“Hey bud.” Phil smiles and reaches out to shake Garrets hand. “I was just hoping to have a duel, you know, wizard to wizard.” Phil grins and then pulls a hot dog out of the ether, his smile only gets bigger as be bites the weiner in half.

“Freddy isn’t here I don’t think.” Garret says, fighting back revulsion

“I don’t want Freddy.” Phils says. “I want you.” The Penguin sends a purple lightning strike at Garret. The wizard raises a basic shield, ‘Branders Bountiful Barrier’, and also a quick counter spell, ‘Curricultors Quickest Counter.’ Phil grins and takes a bit out of the air. Garret feels his counter spell bitten in half. It hurts, but not as much as when Phil spits out his own magic at the shield. The magic short circuits and Garret is rocked to his knees.

Phil steps through the weakened shield. Lightning crackles between his thick fingers. He raises his hands high above his heads. Everything goes black.

“What?” Says Phil.

The sound of Phils voice proves to Garret he is still alive. The next sound he hears lets Garret know everything is going to be alright.

“Leave this place, abomination!” Freddy Anderson’s voice echoes with a sound that rattles the bones.

The Toronto Maple Leafs starting mage appears in the room with a blinding flash. Phil staggers away from Freddy. Taking advantage, Freddy casts ‘Butherfords Bellicose Bondage,’ Which holds Phil tight. The Penguin laughs.

“You think it’s funny that I beat you?” Freddy asks.

“Nope. I think it’s funny that neither of you noticed him.” Phil points to where Evgeni Malkin deactivates his cybernetic cloaking device. Before either wizard can act the cyborg Penguin unleashes a toxic stun gas. The Leafs cannot resist the effects of the gas, slowly they fall to the floor.

Phil opens a magic portal and waves Evgeni through. Turning back Phil laughs again at the helpless Leafs.

“That was fun. Before I forget…” Phil wiggles his fingers and hotdogs fill the room. The portal closes. The Leafs have lost this one.