When humanity is threatened only the super powered might of the Toronto Maple Leafs can be counted on to save the day. The Leafs have undergone a major overhaul this year. Of all the changes, none has been more impactful than the addition of a squadron based tactical deployment that head coach Mike Babcock and GM Kyle Dubas designed to keep the peace on the mean Toronto streets. Today we aren’t following any of the squads.

Mike Babcock stares out across the checkerboard at John Tortorella. The two coaches have been playing this game for hours that seem more like years. Neither man has made a move. Mike knows that it is Johns turn but he believes John has forgotten. Knowing John will never ask, Mike has been lifting his hand as if about to move a piece then slowly putting it back down. The effect on his opponent is equal parts delightful and hysterical. John does not hide his consternation well but he has gotten better since he started smoking weed.

“How do you get paid so much more than me. It’s total crap.” John spits out his words as if he just bit a sour kid when expecting a gummy bear.

Mike raises both eyebrows as a response then goes back to his intense examination of the board.

“And why the hell don’t you put Kadri up with Matthews?” John has forgotten who’s turn it is, he desperately seeks to sidetrack the game, or at least force Mike into a hasty action.

Mike has never been a hasty sort of fellow. He sucks on his teeth and lifts his hand ever so slightly then puts it back down. John stares at Mike. Mike stares back. John blinks. Mike blinks back. Time slowly moves forward around the two coaches who seem unaffected by it. A passerby might think they have found two superbly detailed statues or two master psychics who have advanced beyond the need of crude words. It is John who breaks the stalemate.

“Crap!” John yells, flipping the board over as he stands.

“Good game.” Mike says as John turns to leave.

“Go piss up a tree.” John says. He hates losing, but hates losing to Mike more than anything.