When humanity is threatened only the super powered might of the Toronto Maple Leafs can be counted on to save the day. The Leafs have undergone a major overhaul this year. Of all the changes, none has been more impactful than the addition of a squadron based tactical deployment that head coach Mike Babcock and GM Kyle Dubas designed to keep the peace on the mean Toronto streets. Today we follow Grindle squad.

Morgan Rielly and Jake Gardiner wait by the bomb door of the Toronto Maple Leaf B52 Bomber. Patrick Marleau and William Nylander are lined up behind them. The next pair is Austin Matthews and the newest addition to the Leafs roster, Jake Muzzin. If Jake is nervous about his first mission with the Leafs he does a good job of hiding it. He probably isn’t nervous though, since he’s an actual Werebear, one of the last of his kind.

The Leafs are waiting to parachute into the war zone of Detroit to battle an army of invading zombies. Any minute now the bomb doors will open and the Leafs will go. Any minute now.

Any minute now.

Almost.

Wait for it.

Maybe soon.

Any minute now the Leafs will get going.

Mike Babcock leans back in his bathtub. The water is hot, almost to the point of scalding, just like he likes it. His Toronto Maple Leafs have a week off which would bother Mike if it were something he could control. Sadly there are somethings even the coach of the Leafs can’t control.

A small bead of water catches on the lip of the tub spout. Mike watches as a slow trickle syphons into the bead, not yet a droplet. Mike doesn’t like to take anything for granted, a droplet is a specific thing, to call something a droplet when it is not one yet, even though it seems an inevitability, would discount the ability of the Universe to get its own way. Mike has a lot of respect for the universe. For instance just because it seems certain that his Leafs will make the playoffs he’s not about to look past the next game coming, even if it’s days away.

Days, mere days. So much time but gone in a blink. Mike is pondering his roster. His defence specifically, Jake Muzzin. Jake Muzzin is exciting. Mike isn’t thinking about Jake though, he’s thinking about the rest of the group. He has a cut to make, it’s not easy to do but it has to happen. Life can be cruel.

The bead has grown into a droplet and is on the cusp of dropping. Mike watches it cling to the tub spout. Tenacity is a useful quality, refusing to submit to the rules that seek to bind your potential even when the rules are laws like gravity. The droplet becomes a drop and plunks into the tub.

Finality comes to all things in time. Time moving forward, moving on from all the possibilities and becoming what happened. The immutable past, where pride and shame distort any and every thing. Only by learning from the past can we change the future. Applying lessons in the now is the challenge. Before the moments pile up and slip by faster than your heart beats. As long as it keeps beating there’s a chance the moments you need will keep coming like the water slowly forming another bead on the tub spout.

His Leafs need to learn to be like the water. Relentless, tenacious, constant in its ever changing nature. Water fills the space it is in. The Leafs need to do the same. But the lesson isn’t Mikes to learn, it’s his to teach. Luckily his job is his passion. Luckily his players are just as passionate, more even. Maybe.

The universe will get its way perhaps, but Mike knows if he presents his case well the universe will accept his way, or at least not reject it completely. It’s a process that rewards patient dedication. Mike is patient. Mike is dedicated.

The last rush is the hardest. It’s not nearly as frightening to become a droplet as it is to finally drop.

Plunk.

When humanity is threatened only the super powered might of the Toronto Maple Leafs can be counted on to save the day. The Leafs have undergone a major overhaul this year. Of all the changes, none has been more impactful than the addition of a squadron based tactical deployment that head coach Mike Babcock and GM Kyle Dubas designed to keep the peace on the mean Toronto streets. Today we follow Boar squad.

The Toronto Maple Leafs are having a soccer day, which is a really fun day. The Toronto Maple Leaf indoor soccer centre has excellent turf and a top notch smoothie bar as well. Team white is up a goal when some unexpected guests spoil the fun.

Three Washington Capitals walk in as if they own the place. This bothers the Leafs but winning the Stanley Cup comes with privileges. Alex Ovechkin leads the Capitals with Evgeny Kuznetsov and Dimitry Orlov a few steps behind him. They walk on to the field and Dimitry kicks the ball far out of play.

“That’s enough.” Nikita Zaitsev says in Russian. He approaches the Capitals with Igor Ozhiganov. The five Russians glare at each other.

“I need help.” Evgeny says.

“Lies.” Says Igor.

“No, I’m serious. I need helping fixing my airship.”

“Hey!” Mike Babcock interrupts. ” None of us speak Russian real good. Take your red rally off the field. And you, young man, go get my ball please.” This he says to Dimitry who bristles at the command.

“Go get it.” Alex says before things get out of hand.

Dimitry jogs off to fetch the ball cursing Mike loudly in his native tongue. Alex leads the Russians over to the smoothie bar. The Leafs get back to their soccer game while Alex explains.

“We use Evgeny’s airship for many things.” He speaks in Russian, not sure who may be listening. “We solve crimes, save citizens, all good things. But the ship has crashed.”

“It was sabotaged.” Evgeny says.

Alex quiets him with a look. “It will not fly.” He finally says.

“What do you want us to do?” Igor demands. “Fix your own ship. We are in the middle of a game here!” The Leaf takes his soccer very seriously even if he thinks it’s called football.

“Why do you think we can help?” Nikita takes a calmer tone. He isn’t worried about a single game because he knows there are more to come, each one more serious then the last. He listens to the Capital, even if he doesn’t trust him.

“The dorsal pressurized regulating coupling has gotten flaberinized and I need a goblin engineer to recalibrate the hyperpile” Evgeny says. “We need your help finding one.”

“Your team has wizards doesn’t it?” Igor demands, then he gets up and turns to leave.

Alex opens up a panel on his wrist and turns a dial. The sonic detonator implanted in every Russian cyborg before they are released into the NHL begins to vibrate behind Igor’s left eye.

“Sit comrade.” Alex smiles. “We come seeking our countrymen. It would be sad if we found defectors.”

Slowly Igor sits down. He squeezes his fists so tight it hurts. He fought so hard to make it across the ocean. He fought so hard to be free of his masters. How it hurts to feel their pitiless grip where he thought he was safe.

“So you know how to find the goblins, yes?” Evgeny asks, more like a demand.

Igor is silent, staring at the panel on Alex’s wrist. Nikita is also silent, but unlike Igor he hasn’t stop smiling.

“We don’t know, but our friends do.” Nikita knows this will bother Alex.

“Who?” Alex is bothered.

“One, maybe two guys. I will get them.” Nikita wears his smile like a dagger. Alex doesn’t like inviting foreigners into his business. He needs the airship though.

“Get them.” He finally says.

If anything Nikita smiles wider before standing to leave. He returns with Nazem Kadri and Morgan Rielly. Nazem and Alex don’t get along but Morgan is always friendly. He shakes hands with the Capitals, raising his eyebrows at the exposed circuitry on Alex’s wrist.

“So you need a goblin?” Naz asks.

“An engineer.” Evgeny confirms. His tone is not as condescending in English which serves him well.

“One sec.” Naz takes a step and falls into the shadow of the bar.

Morgan starts to whistle, filling the silence that follows. Alex stares at Morgan hard. Morgan finally notices and answers the glare with a smile, but at least he stops whistling. After a few tense, awkward minutes Naz returns with a squealing, squirming, green little goblin in a dirty leather smock. The creature is bound by the strap of a large tool bag and gagged with a pair of goggles. Naz drops the goblin at Evgeny’s feet. The Capital quickly secures it under his arm and turns to leave with barely a nod in thanks. Dimitry follows close behind.

Alex lingers, glaring at Morgan.

“Why are you here?” Alex asks. “If he is able to get a goblin so easily, why did you come over here?”

“It’s really lame that your country plants kill boxes in all of your heads.” Morgan answers. “It’s beyond lame that they gave you the button. Way beyond lame.”

“What are you talking about?” Alex tries denial but immediately abandons the attempt. “How could you know of such things. It is forbidden to speak of them.” He turns to Igor. “Now you learn the cost of betrayal.” He twists the dial in his cybernetic wrist. Nothing happens.

“That’s why I’m here.” Morgan isn’t smiling anymore. “I disconnected your switch. And since it had an active tether to all the devices I was able to deactivate them too.” Morgan’s technopathic powers are very useful.

“What? How?” Alex futilely twists his wrist dial, his confusion rising to match his frustration.

“It’s simple really.” Morgan’s smile creeps back. “You really ought to update your system.” The Leafs turn away from the retreating Capitals, focusing on what’s important, their own game.

When humanity is threatened only the super powered might of the Toronto Maple Leafs can be counted on to save the day. The Leafs have undergone a major overhaul this year. Of all the changes, none has been more impactful than the addition of a squadron based tactical deployment that head coach Mike Babcock and GM Kyle Dubas designed to keep the peace on the mean Toronto streets. Today we follow Flagella squad:

Travis Dermott slams into the wall and shatters it. Even grown big, the impact is hard enough for The Toronto Maple Leaf to feel it. Across the street Par Lindholm holds the giant at bay with an endless stream of fire from his assault rifle. To a human sized target the hard light bullets Par creates are as effective as mundane ammunition. Against the giant terrorizing Bay Street Par is finding his super power stretched to his limit.

Travis gets back to his feet and rushes to grapple the giant. “Help Brownie!” He yells as he rushes past Par.

Connor Brown doesn’t need help. His power to absorb kinetic energy makes something like a building falling on him akin to Popeye eating his spinach. With a yell Connor throws the wreckage off his back and redirects the energy coursing through him into a blast that rips the giant in half.

The Toronto Maple Leafs aren’t given any time regroup before another giant is summoned into the street in front of them. The monsters have been arriving one after another for hours. The Leafs have been so busy fighting them off that they haven’t had time to seek for the source. All they can do is keep fighting and hope that something changes, some help arrives unlooked for. But it hasn’t happened yet and the Leafs can’t afford to wait around until it does.

Travis punches the giant in the face. Par focuses fire on its left knee. Connor blasts its right ankle. The crippled giant makes to swing the massive reptilian jaw bone it uses as a club but shouts out in pain instead.

The giants skin ripples weirdly and starts to burst as it’s blood boils. The howl that tears out of its throat as it dies makes the Leafs shiver. It collapses with a shudder and the silence that follows settles in like a fog.

“I guess we did it?” Travis asks.

“What did we do?” Par asks in reply.

The Death howl of the giant returns with a gale force that blasts the Leafs off their feet. The sky above them goes dark. A single star blazes bright and pulses with energy. Waves of heat and sound pummel the Leafs. Travis shrinks back down to normal size without even noticing. Time and space cease to matter as the world turns into a place of deafening pain and relentless pressure. Just when Travis thinks he can’t take any more, it stops.

The Leafs lay helpless as they recover. Unnoticed, a figure approaches. Booted feet step lightly and strong hands reach out and gently grasp Travis on his shoulders. Invigorating coolness washes over the Leaf and he sits up refreshed. Oliver Ekmann-Larsson of the Arizona Coyotes reaches out for Connor next, then Par.

“It’s over now.” Oliver says. “We found the giants home planet and closed the door.”

“Home planet?” Connor asks.

“They were aliens, didn’t you notice?” The Leafs hadn’t noticed. “Do you need any more help? Maybe with the clean up?”

The Coyote is so genuine in his desire to be helpful that the Leafs can’t even be offended by his condescension.

“It’s okay.” Travis answers. “We got this.”

It’s funny that a loss against Florida inspired my last honest discussion. Why does losing to the Panthers make the Leafs collective nation lose our minds? Is it the team the Leafs are against? I believe it’s the team the Leafs are.

I have been a fan for a while. I remember watching the Leafs play and wondering if they will ever get good. Then we all got to watch them get good so fast it almost seems like a dream. Now they are a good team, one of the best in the league. At least we think they are, we hope they are.

I feel like that is the root of the problem, as with much of the human experience, fear. Leafs fans are afraid of getting hurt again. We are afraid of believing in a group of young men that do not deserve our faith. We have earned our fear. We have paid for it with years and years of unrequited love. I know that if this team falters and fails to live up to its potential I will still comeback for more. I just really don’t need any more hockey heartache. I just really want to love a team that loves me back and shows that love by winning, not in January but when it matters.

So how does that tie in with the team and their struggles? It’s as simple as it is cruel. Leafs fans are thoroughly battered and our hearts are hardened. We can believe in your brilliance but we won’t trust in it until you prove it works.

Be the team that heals our poor broken hearts. Be the team we all need you to be.

I B Leaf

When humanity is threatened only the super powered might of the Toronto Maple Leafs can be counted on to save the day. The Leafs have undergone a major overhaul this year. Of all the changes, none has been more impactful than the addition of a squadron based tactical deployment that head coach Mike Babcock and GM Kyle Dubas designed to keep the peace on the mean Toronto streets. Today we follow Longhorn squad:

Steven Stamkos, gilded god of the Tampa Bay Lightning laughs in the face of Dsattratt the Death Maid, who is regarded as one of the strongest super villains in the country by the people who track those sorts of things. Dsattratt has Steven cornered but he isn’t worried. The Lightning have hunting the Death Maid all year, almost three weeks now, Steven knows his team will be close.

Dsattratt had been basking herself on a beach that was impossible to reach by mundane means. Steven flies there once or twice a year to think and was surprised to find her. After a decent struggle the Death Maid retreated into the ocean and Steven followed. Dsattratt’s monstrous children were waiting.

Surrounded Steven does the only thing he can think of, he fights. The trolls are adept at underwater combat and it doesn’t take Steven long to realize he is in trouble.

Then the shadows seem to come alive. They wrestle trolls, stretching and growing, then they stop being shadows and three Toronto Maple Leafs are fighting with the trolls. Nazem Kadri, Patrick Marleau and Kasperi Kapenen make short work of Dsattratt’s brats leaving the Death Maid to stand alone.

Her panic is clear but she makes no move to retreat. Her long life has taught her that surrender is not an option. She asks for no mercy because she knows that none would be given. The Leafs stand ready but seem content to watch for the moment. The water around the troll begins to bubble. Too late, Dsattratt realizes that something is happening. She tries to scream but her body is no longer in our world as the portal she was sucked into closes.

Kasperi grabs Steven and walks into a shadow. The shadow realm is a dark and twisted mirror of our reality. Naz has mastered his super powers, making the shadow realm his own. Steven stays close to his guides as they walk. Naz reaches into a darker patch in the shadows and pulls back the shadow to reveal the real world. Patrick steps out first, Kasperi pushes Steven next, then he and Naz step out.

The heroes are in downtown Tampa, Steven shakes his head, appreciating what the Leafs have done.

“Thanks for the help guys.” Steven is man enough to admit that he was beaten. “What are you getting up to now?”

“Lot’s of asses left to kick” Naz answers for his teammates. “I think we’re just gonna hang out and kick ’em”

The Leafs vanish as quickly as they appeared leaving Steven alone in the street. The Lightning hero is impressed and he doesn’t like it.

When humanity is threatened only the super powered might of the Toronto Maple Leafs can be counted on to save the day. The Leafs have undergone a major overhaul this year. Of all the changes, none has been more impactful than the addition of a squadron based tactical deployment that head coach Mike Babcock and GM Kyle Dubas designed to keep the peace on the mean Toronto streets. Today we follow Gecko squad:

Jake Gardiner can only dodge so many bullets, eventually he gets clipped. His Toronto Maple Leaf body armour takes the impact but he is still knocked off his feet.

“Be the snake, Jake.” Jake tells himself. His super power of transforming into a giant serpent or thousands of smaller snakes is not as destructive as some of his teammates but is still pretty useful and awesome. Veering into one thousand, seven hundred, and twenty three Gardiner snakes would be very handy in his current situation of being shot at by half a dozen hired goons. Bad news for Jake, his powers don’t seem to be working. It’s not that he doesn’t want to change into snakes or can’t remember how, it’s almost like the snakes would rather be Jake.

As a child Jake used to turn into snakes to scare his mom and dad. As he got older he learned to hide his gifts and only became snakes when he was alone. It was only after he joined the Toronto Maple Leafs that Jake finally felt as if his snakes were valued. The Leafs encouraged Jake to expand his powers, to turn into more snakes and bigger snakes. Now Jakes future with his beloved Leafs is murky and the snakes are rattled. He can try to ignore it but it’s still there, coiled in his psyche, slithering through his every thought.

Jake pulls out his gun to fire back at the goons, which buys him a few more seconds. He tries so hard to use his power that he bites through his lip. The blood taste makes him want to spit but he swallows it down behind gritted teeth. He knows what to do, it just won’t happen. Desperate, he yells and empties his clip, then the room is rocked by an impact.

Jake takes a peek and sees Carl Soderberg, hero of the Colorado Avalanche, stepping on the neck of one of the goons. He holds another over his head and rips the struggling man in half. A third and fourth goon are scattered about in tiny pieces, killed by Carl’s arrival. The last two goons seem to have run off. Jake stands up and brushes drywall dust off his armour.

“No one from my team was nearby?” Jake asks, knowing most of the Leafs and Avalanche heroes were fighting an army of mutant killers on the bright side of the moon.

“Leafs?” Carl looks over at Jake and shrugs. “Haven’t seen them all night.”

Fuck the Bruins.

Fuck them and their fucking heads.

Fuck them SO SO SO very much.

OOOHHHHHHHHHH Fuck.

Fuck the Bruins. Fuck Boston.

When humanity is threatened only the super powered might of the Toronto Maple Leafs can be counted on to save the day. The Leafs have undergone a major overhaul this year. Of all the changes, none has been more impactful than the addition of a squadron based tactical deployment that head coach Mike Babcock and GM Kyle Dubas designed to keep the peace on the mean Toronto streets. Today we follow Otter squad: Centers.

The New Jersey Devils are named after the New Jersey devil who came over the ocean from England where he was known as the Jersey devil, which stands to reason. Today the devil lives a sad and lonely life under a small and horribly unremarkable bridge. A steady diet of hobos and homeless orphans has maintained the devil, but he is growing restless. Today the devil can resist no longer, today he hunts.

Any human flesh will do of course but the devil has always preferred the flesh of novitiate nuns.This succulent delicacy is hard to come by and the devil has been out of touch with the world for decades. The smells of the streets have changed, the devil is disoriented which makes him angry. Where he remembers a convent he now finds a, empty lot. Sniffing the air only makes his nose burn from the acid filth belching out from a million cars and chimneys. Desperate, he snaps at a passerby which turns out to be a lamp post which breaks a tooth.

The lamp post kicks the devil across the street. This breaks more teeth and the devil has had enough. Shedding his mundane guise is a painful process which only serves to fuel the devils rage. All he needs now is a target for that rage. Unfortunately all his targets are Toronto Maple Leafs.

The Leafs hadn’t even been tracking the New Jersey devil. Frederik Gauthier was staking out a bomb happy doomsday cult when he had suddenly gotten bit. He had kicked the strange ugly dog harder than he meant to but didn’t feel so bad once the mongrel stood up on its back legs, grew eight feet tall and started spouting fire out of its snout. Freddy wasn’t scared exactly, his granite body was hard to hurt, he just didn’t think he could beat the devil quick enough on his own to keep the collateral damage down. Luckily his squad was close.

Nazem Kadri steps out from the shadows and unloads his  twin Toronto Maple Leaf fully automatic Desert Eagle 4.0’s into the devils chest. The devil swipes at Naz and Auston Matthews short sword chops his arm off at the elbow. The devil makes to bite at Auston and John Tavares smashes his face with his iron tipped quarter staff. The devil can’t even register his hurt and fury before the next attack.

With devastating precision the Leafs destroy the New Jersey devil. It may have been unlucky but that is hardly relevant. Luck is a thing that is only evident in hindsight. In the moment everything hangs in the balance. Call it bad fortune, call it bad timing, whatever you call it the deed is done. Perhaps things might have been different if only they were not. In the end there is no escaping the truth, the Leafs have won.

When humanity is threatened only the super powered might of the Toronto Maple Leafs can be counted on to save the day. The Leafs have undergone a major overhaul this year. Of all the changes, none has been more impactful than the addition of a squadron based tactical deployment that head coach Mike Babcock and GM Kyle Dubas designed to keep the peace on the mean Toronto streets. Today we follow Damasque squad: Defence.

Morgan Rielly is feeling very comfortable in this system. As a technopath he is used to finding crazy operating systems that threaten to wreak havoc on his perspective. Happily today he has found himself in a very tidy space, sadly it’s been used to cause no end of trouble. The Toronto Maple Leafs have located one of the suspected hideouts of a mysterious villain that has been hiding from the team all year long. Once they found this lair Morgan moved in quick to isolate the building from the internet and secure all the devices within. For an apparently abandoned building there is an alarming number of cell phones inside.

Morgan hasn’t spent a lot of time searching through the phones, content for the moment to have access to them all. Most of his attention is on the server hidden in the buildings basement. It is locked, and very well, but Morgan is patient. His teammates aren’t.

“Mo, we gotta move!” Ron Hainsey grabs Morgans arms pulls him down the hall as bullets tear apart the flipped over table Mo and Ron had been using as cover..

It’s not that Mo had forgotten that he was in the middle of a firefight, he just stopped caring about it for a few minutes.

“Okay, let go” Mo takes his arm back from Ron as he uses the digitized lairs elegant interface to close and lock the door behind them. “We have to get to the basement. This way.”

Mo uses the villains technological brilliance against them to navigate the base, it’s almost too easy to clear a path while locking out the many armed minions. The maze of corridors that would have confounded any other attacker might as well be a well lit path for Mo. Every step takes him closer to his goal and with every step he feel more and more sure that he will make it in time. Then he opens the door to the server room and his heart sinks.

Standing over the smashed up remnants of several processing towers is P.K. Subban of the Nashville Predators.

“Hey guys.” P.K. greets his fellow heroes warmly. “I was a little bored so I thought I’d fight some crime. Don’t worry I totally wrecked this stuff.”

“You… But…” Morgan is at a loss for words. “Thanks.” He finally settles on.

“No problem, that’s how we do.” P.K. stomps on the broken circuitry and does a fun little dance. “Smashville!”

Morgan and Ron leave quietly. Mo knows there is a lesson to be learned here, he just doesn’t appreciate it right now.